found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
