That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
