YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
