I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
