i think my tv is drunk
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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