Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
