It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
