Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
