I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
