My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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