i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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