...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize