Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
