he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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