Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
