Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
