Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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