and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
