It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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