You're so nebulous sometimes
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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