Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
