Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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