Pants 0. Shit 1.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
