You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My ass is underappreciated
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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