hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize