playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
