Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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