? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
