I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
