turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
