like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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