Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
