Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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