recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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