So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
