love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize