I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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