We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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