dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize