It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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