this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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