so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
