I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
