ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
