Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
