i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
