The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
