quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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