Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
