I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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