I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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