eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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