I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Life is so much better after having sex.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
this is an emotional support booty call
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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