she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
