I need help removing her.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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