i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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