it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
