i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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