drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
