I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
