Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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